Rebirth
This is new.
A new phase, a pause to look at my life and change what needs changing. I dont know what the future holds, but the transition is hard work, tiring and also painful in places. I got here unprepared. I didnt expect this at all. This is a journey and not a holiday, it seems.
I will use this space to write down my thoughts and feelings... because there are so many, I dont know where to put them. My family doesn't want to listen to me going on about how I feel and what is going on in my mind, and that I couldn't sleep - again - and that I am tired or feeling sad for no particular reason. I do understand that it is draining and somewhat "negative". We are in a world where people are always seeking happy and optimistic - but life isn't always happy and optimistic. Sometimes we have to feel the other side and trust and be still and go through what seems to be a dark and scary place.
The years of menopause can be like a rollercoaster or even an earthquake. I am sure they are also a beautiful chance for transformation, healthy life-choices and re-inventing ourselves.
Right now I feel like I felt when I gave birth to my oldest son. During the last stages when I was lying in the bath tub and kept falling asleep between contractions and thought that I would soon give up. I was very close - but all of a sudden a new strength ran through my body and my mind and I got up on my hands and knees and I knew I could do this. Shortly after that my beautiful son was born.
Let's see what is coming up next!
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